Tag: relationships

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity family anecdotes More about me Reading Review

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #22

 

Screen Shot 2016-04-17 at 6.49.19 amOne of my son’s favourite books is BASIL THE BRANCH from THE LOST SHEEP series – about a branch who wants to bear fruit.

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t.

It’s only when he gives up in despair that he hears the voice from over his shoulder. It’s the vine. And it’s smiling at him, telling him to relax.

You see, Basil is only a branch. It is *impossible* for him to grow grapes all by himself. That’s not his job.

His job is just to focus on the vine. And *then* the grapes will grow – because it’s the vine that does the work, not each little, individual branch.

So that’s what Basil does. And you know what? After he focuses on the vine – and *does* grow a beautiful big bunch of grapes!

One of God’s ‘metaphors’ is that of being the vine. The cross-stitch picture uses the words ‘the true vine’ (from John 15 verse 1) and shows a picture of a bunch of grapes, with leaves and tendrils. John 15:5 says,

V“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

I find that pretty challenging: I’m one of those people who’s pretty self-reliant with a lot of stuff. ‘Apart from me you can do nothing’ kinda gets my hackles up – until I realise that I really *am* just a branch. And I need One who’s greater than me, to be able to achieve anything worthwhile.

So that’s my takeaway lesson fro today. Jesus is the vine: my job is to just focus on Him!

Have a great day, dear reader 🙂

— KRidwyn

 

 

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #13

MSo I’ve been basing these #AtoZchallenge posts on a cross-stitch my Mum made for me a few years ago. Each letter depicts a title for God, with a picture and a Bible verse. Today’s letter, M, shows the phrase ‘Merciful Lord’ and the verse Psalm 100:5.

The Bible version I’m reading this year is the NLT, the New Living Translation. It’s a modern-language translation first released in 1996, like the more popular NIV (New International Version, first released in 1978) which I’ve used previously.

Neither the NIV nor the NLT however, have the word ‘mercy’ or ‘merciful’ in this Bible verse though. In fact, I needed to go back to the King James Version of the Bible (released in 1611) to find the word ‘mercy’ in that verse! It reads:

“For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth for all generations.”

Instead of ‘mercy’, the NIV uses the word ‘love’ and the NLT uses ‘unfailing love’. I also found it interesting that the English Standard Version (ESV) uses ‘steadfast love’ and the New American Standard Bible uses ‘lovingkindness’ for this same word.

So that got me thinking: What is ‘mercy’, anyway?

Google’s definition: “compassion or forgiveness shown to someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm”. Yup, that’s kinda what I had it pegged as.

According to www.gotquestions.org, “Mercy is the withholding of a just condemnation.” Now that’s concise. I like it.

Whenever I think of mercy, I think of Aesop’s fables. There’s The Lion and the Mouse and its parallel tale, Androcles and the Lion.

In both situations, the more powerful creature could have harmed the weaker, but chose to show mercy instead. Then the situations are reversed, and the weaker shows mercy to the stronger.

Well, God’s definitely the more powerful one in our relationship, and I’m glad he’s chosen to show me mercy. (Unlike the Aesop’s fables though, I can’t imagine the situations ever being reversed!)

So that’s my lesson for today: His mercy begets my gratitude!

Have a lovely day, dear reader!

— KRidwyn

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity Life

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #10

I have three children: Miss11, Miss8 and Mr7. I love them more than I could possibly imagine, and want to protect them from the evils I know exist in the world. I’m sure all parents feel the same. Before becoming a parent, I never felt this way. I didn’t know it was possible to feel the overwhelming love that would sacrifice everything for this child who relies on you so utterly.

As a teenager in High School, I once heard the story of a man who controlled the switch at a train track. He was about to switch the track for a passenger train to pass safely by, when he realised that his four-year-old son was playing on it. Now that’s a dilemma! Choose who dies – a train full of passengers, or your own child?

That story has remained vivid enough that I could remember it this last week, and use it for an illustration today. Snopes though, tells the background to the story, as ‘story’ it appears to be.

JNonetheless, it is a relatable illustration of God and His choice – to send His son to Earth, knowing He would be killed the most excruciating way possible. For us. Because it was the only way that He could save us from the consequences of our sin. And Jesus – who knew, and obeyed.

Now I’m a parent, God’s choice confounds me and humbles me. There’s no way I would voluntarily sacrifice my one of my own children for strangers. Not even for friends. And yet – that’s what God did. And Jesus – who knew, and obeyed? The mind reels.

God loves us, did you know?

I’m humbled by that.

And that’s my takeaway lesson for today. J, for Jesus. Who obeyed.

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity family anecdotes momentous events More about me

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #8

In each post in this #AtoZchallenge, I’m highlighting one facet that God has revealed about Himself in the Bible. Most are metaphors (I am the Bread of Life; I am the Good Shepherd etc.) but they aren’t always.

This one isn’t.

FullSizeRender (4)In the book of Psalms, Chapter 103 verse 3, the Bible says, “[the LORD] forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases…”

God is a healer. The cross-stitch sampler to the left shows a man leaping for joy, no longer needing a walking stick; he’s been healed of his physical illness. Stories abound throughout the Bible wherein people are healed physically; and also emotionally and spiritually, when their sins were forgiven.

It’s taken me a while to decide what ‘life example’ *I* could give here, to illustrate my point. I mean, I’ve never really suffered any physical aliment from which I needed healing. Nor, to my knowledge, have any close friends or family, so I can’t relate their story here either.

Emotional healing I’ve had a little more experience with though, and long-time readers of this blog might remember the roller-coaster ride that was the time when my youngest was diagnosed with autism.

But the biggie was probably when God healed my marriage.

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 10.10.01 amI posted this photo on Facebook earlier in the week. Hubby and I were out, and I managed to snap a selfie of the two of us – where he was SMILING! This would be the first ever smiling selfie, in over 20 years of marriage.

And I’m sharing that piece of information so you can see how completely He healed us.

You see, we broke up after just 18 months of marriage.

It was pretty bad. And I was the cause… well, to be specific, it was my experiences with a cult a few years prior, which had screwed me up BIGTIME, that had driven us apart.

Anyway, SUPERlong story short, we patched things up and got back together again.

This was only possible because of God. No, really.

The story is too long to tell here – you’ll need to read the longer post here instead – but suffice it to say, God healed us. And look, twenty years later, we’re still together. And I’m proud of that.

That’s not to say we haven’t fought in the meantime. I’m a stubborn thing, and a control freak, neither of which do me any favours. We’ve had some doozies of arguments. But we’re in this for the long haul, and are both committed to that. No matter what. God healed us, and for that I’m eternally grateful.

So that’s my lesson for Day 8. God Heals. He’s healed others, and He’s healed Hubby and I. I can take comfort in the fact that He’ll heal again, whenever and wherever is needed.

That’s pretty awesome 🙂

Have a great day, dear reader!

— KRidwyn

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity Reading

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #6

Luke 7:34 says, “The Son of Man [Jesus] came eating and drinking, and you say, “Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.”

I’ve read that verse dozens of times. But this is the first time that the word ‘friend’ has stuck out for me.

FullSizeRender (2)This post, number 6 in the series of posts in my current #AtoZchallenge, has the letter ‘F’ as it’s topic. And in the A to Z cross-stitch that sits on the console table in the centre of my house, the letter ‘F’ shows ‘Friend’ and the Bible verse quoted above.

I tend to not think of Jesus as my ‘friend’. I guess there’s too much reverence there, or something. My mental pedestal is too high.

When I think of my ‘friends’, I think of laughter. Of the sheer joy in being together, of spending time delighting in each other’s company.

And I guess, when I stop and reflect on it, that *is* how I feel about God. I *do* find joy in his company; in reading His words to me and in speaking to Him (praying). [I bought myself a new Bible for Christmas and have read around 4 chapters per day since January 1st. If I continue, I’ll have read it through in a year. Cool challenge, hey! I’m up to 2 Kings at the moment. And LOVING it 😀 ]

And that’s what friendship is about, isn’t it? ‘To have a friend, be a friend,’ they say. Well, that verse above says that Jesus was ‘a friend to tax collectors and sinners’. I’m both. (For more on my tax-collecting propensities, you might like to read here.) And the sinner part? That’s pretty obvious. I stuff up ALL the time!

Jesus was quoting others’ words when he called himself ‘a friend to tax collectors and sinners’. So He must have been seen – by them – as one. And if He could be a friend then, when He was in the physical world, there’s no reason why He can’t be one now, to me… or you!

‘To have a friend, be a friend.’ I’m going to use that as a challenge to view Jesus as my friend. A friend that I still revere, and worship, but a friend nonetheless. I already delight in His company, after all!

So that’s my takeaway lesson for Day 6 of this A to Z blogging challenge: that Jesus is my friend. Well, He can be, because that’s what He’s offering. I’m accepting the offer 🙂

Have a great day, dear reader!
— KRidwyn

 

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#AtoZchallenge Blogging challenges Christianity More about me Writing

26 lessons from God’s metaphors: #5

I’m fortunate enough to have two parents still married to each other. They’re in their seventies now; still healthy, still happy. My Mum is inspirational, and I love her to absolute bits, and I’ll post ‘why’ on here at some stage.

But this post is about my Dad.

I’ll be the first to admit, our relationship hasn’t always been smooth sailing. And some – maybe even most?! – of that, was my fault. But that’s life, and I’m older (and maybe wiser) now. And now, we’re doing well.

You see, my father’s a retired lecturer. His area of lecturing? English. Literature, and creative writing.

As in, yes. The same topic that has me up late nights, or in the early mornings, as I struggle with the whole “I want to be a published author” path I’m on.

He’s one of my guides on this journey. And through him, I’ve learned SO much; far too much to even contemplate, let alone relate here.

But I’m also aware that time is limited. As much as I’d like to ignore it… the reality is, he’s only human. He’s not eternal. So it’d be wise for me to receive as much guidance as I possibly can, now, before the inevitable happens.

Yes, this is sad. Writing about it like this may portray me as callous and mercenary. Am I? I’m too close to the situation to answer reliably. I’d like to think I show my appreciation to him, for what he does – whether or not I’ve made that clear here. But that’s not the point.

The point is, that although I fail at things constantly, and my Dad is there to help fix stuff and guide me in the right ways, I also have a Heavenly Dad who fixes stuff and guides me, too.

And the difference is, this Heavenly Dad is everlasting.

Isaiah 9:6 says, “For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

[Aside: As soon as I read this verse, I immediately get Handel’s Messiah in my head. Do you?]

God is my Everlasting Father. I don’t need to worry that at some point in the future, He will cease being there for me.

I can continue to stuff up, to fail, and to need guidance, every single day until the day I die, knowing that God will continue to be there for me, every single day, leading me and guiding me, and helping me to fix the stuff-ups that I make. And I like that idea.

(I’m also thinking that my Dad would have a field day with that run-on sentence that I just wrote! Not to mention following it with a sentence fragment which started with a conjunction!)

FullSizeRender (1)So that’s my takeaway lesson for Day 5 of this A to Z blogging challenge. God is our Everlasting Father, so I don’t have to worry about there being a end-point. Which is pretty cool!

Have a great day, dear reader!
— KRidwyn

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#blogjune Life Review

Over for another year..

Hello again, dear reader.

This marks the final post for my 2015 #blogjune journey. It’s been different to what I had expected. I had *hoped* that I’d be able to post every day. But, just as in the last five years, that never happened. I still managed 30 posts – but because several days had two or more posts in them. And this post marks the 112th post in the #blogjune category – and that sounds pretty impressive to me 🙂

So, to recap for 2015:

1. On the relationship between libraries, teaching and vocal nodules I lamented my not-going-to-Library-volunteering-due-to-laryngitis day

2. Keeping it at bay – the laryngitis, that is – related my happiness at getting so much editing done the day before, and also re-discovering the five (count them! 5!) folders of research that I’d done for a historical novel ten years ago, before Miss10 came along

3. Looking backwards, looking forwards referred to my experiences with #blogjune (cherubs traditionally picking up vomiting bugs during the first week of June) and my excitement about the #WritingRace I attend every Wednesday evening.

4. So I succumbed – Laryngitis got me, finally. It was the choir rehearsals that did it, I tell you!

5. Ask me why I’m happy – Hubby finished his CPA studies!

6. So it happened again – I was *so* hoping to get away with a vomit-free first week of #blogjune. But Miss7 changed that. Sigh.

7. Smiling – while sick : my 41st birthday!

8. Grateful was a post thanking my peeps for all the birthday love – and I finished reading Stephen King’s On Writing 🙂

9 – 14. The next few posts were a series on how I parent. I regularly get comments on the good behaviour of my kids, so I thought I’d blog about why. Things like Rewards First, Stuff Costs Money (understanding the value of things), Set Expectations, Consistency is Key, Make Milestones Memorable and finished it with a post on Mummy: my kids’ perspective

15. This Saturday looked ahead to the Krav Maga grading I was to sit that weekend

16. whoops – where I realised that I’d missed a day of blogging. My first for the month. So I’d made it through to day 15 before misisng a day! Happy with that 🙂

17. Predicting the game – the State of Origin rugby league match, that’s pretty big on the east coast of Australia during June. And I got it right 🙂

18. Training – Miss10 had been giving me back massages all week, possibly in response to the hard training I was doing preparing for my grading. Which was absolutely beautiful!

19. On dreams – I wonder what “being suffocated by render” means?

20. I passed!!! (Still shaking my head in disbelief, actually…)

21. Sabriel – my thoughts on the Garth Nix novel of the same name, which I’d read that afternoon. Being unable to do much else but lie prone, of course!

22. Conversations with my younger children – in which both Miss7 and Mr6 surprised me.

23. Hat-less: a selfie. These are rare. But I felt that my first day without-a-hat since shaving my head for #WorldsGreatestShave back in March was reason enough to grin and bear that rear-facing camera…

24. four days behind  because I was! And my reason why…

25. On socks and sewing – in which I recounted hopeful improvements in my ‘school socks’ system, and also my woeful sewing skills

26. sore – Some furniture was moved in preparation for the laying of tiles which had been delivered – which we had just discovered were the wrong tiles! (Am still seething over this one…)

27. Feedback from beta-readers – my take on the feedback I’ve received on my book to date

28. Tiles – part 2 : situation resolved (we can but hope) where the correct tiles will apparently be delivered next week…

29. Reading time – where I got to the bottom of why Mr6 refuses to read certain words

30. Over for another year – this one that’s you’re reading right now, the recap post where I’ve reminisced on the events of the past month.

Thanks for reading, and here’s wishing you a lovely day, as always!

— KRidwyn

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#blogjune Blogging challenges

‘Mummy’ – my kids’ perspective

To finish up this week on raising kids, I thought I might get my kids to complete that Facebook survey that’s been doing the rounds over the last week or so. Here are my kids’ answers, word for word:

Child No1, aged 10

  1. What is something Mummy always says to you? I love you.
  2. What makes Mummy happy? ‘Mummy and me’ time.
  3. What makes Mummy sad? When she has to yell at me.
  4. How does Mummy make you laugh? By doing funny things and tickling me.
  5. What was Mummy like as a child? I don’t know.
  6. How old is Mummy? 41.
  7. How tall is Mummy? 1 metre
  8. What is Mummy’s favourite thing to do? Tickle kids and have hugs.
  9. What does Mummy do when you’re not here? Play with toys.
  10. If Mummy becomes famous, what will it be for? I don’t know.
  11. What is Mummy really good at? Singing.
  12. What is Mummy not very good at? High jump.
  13. What is Mummy’s job? Music teacher.
  14. What makes you proud of Mummy? How much money she earns.
  15. What is Mummy’s favourite food? Apple crumble.
  16. What do you and Mummy do together? Play.
  17. How are you and Mummy the same? Music talent.
  18. If your Mummy was a cartoon character, who would she be? The Mayor on My Little Pony
  19. How are you and Mummy different? She has short hair.
  20. How do you know Mummy loves you? Because she gives me a bed to sleep in and a room and a house and a family and a big property and pets and vitamins that I hate, when I’m sick.
  21. What does Mummy like best about Daddy? That he’s her husband.
  22. Where is Mummy’s favourite place to go? Out.
  23. How old was Mummy when she had you? I don’t want to do Maths.

Child No2, aged 7

  1. What is something Mummy always says to you? I love you.
  2. What makes Mummy happy? Me.
  3. What makes Mummy sad? When I do the wrong thing.
  4. How does Mummy make you laugh? By tickling me.
  5. What was Mummy like as a child? She read books all the time.
  6. How old is Mummy? 41.
  7. How tall is Mummy? Not so tall.
  8. What is Mummy’s favourite thing to do? Play with her kids.
  9. What does Mummy do when you’re not here? Work.
  10. If Mummy becomes famous, what will it be for? Being smart.
  11. What is Mummy really good at? Tickling.
  12. What is Mummy not very good at? Watching TV.
  13. What is Mummy’s job? Teaching.
  14. What makes you proud of Mummy? {What does that mean?} That she’ a good Mum.
  15. What is Mummy’s favourite food? ice-cream
  16. What do you and Mummy do together? Tickle eachother.
  17. How are you and Mummy the same? We’re both middle children.
  18. If your Mummy was a cartoon character, who would she be? One of the old ladies in ‘Puss in Boots’.
  19. How are you and Mummy different? Age.
  20. How do you know Mummy loves you? Because if I didn’t have Mummy, things wouldn’t go very well.
  21. What does Mummy like best about Daddy? Something.
  22. Where is Mummy’s favourite place to go? Library.
  23. How old was Mummy when she had you? I don’t know.

Child No3, aged 6

  1. What is something Mummy always says to you? You can play on the playstation after you eat your food.
  2. What makes Mummy happy? Doing the right thing.
  3. What makes Mummy sad? When I cry.
  4. How does Mummy make you laugh? When I say something different.
  5. What was Mummy like as a child? She used to work.
  6. How old is Mummy? I forgot.
  7. How tall is Mummy? About this high – my arm almost reaches!
  8. What is Mummy’s favourite thing to do? Listen to me.
  9. What does Mummy do when you’re not here? She goes to school.
  10. If Mummy becomes famous, what will it be for? I don’t understand.
  11. What is Mummy really good at? Making the fire [in the fireplace] and dinner.
  12. What is Mummy not very good at? Playing on the Wii. She keeps on coming last.
  13. What is Mummy’s job? Teaching.
  14. What makes you proud of Mummy? Nothing.
  15. What is Mummy’s favourite food? Ice-blocks or ice-cream
  16. What do you and Mummy do together? I help Mummy to make the fire.
  17. How are you and Mummy the same? When I grow up.
  18. If your Mummy was a cartoon character, who would she be? I don’t know.
  19. How are you and Mummy different? Mummy has a lot of spots and I’m a lot smaller.
  20. How do you know Mummy loves you? When she says ‘I love you’.
  21. What does Mummy like best about Daddy? I don’t know.
  22. Where is Mummy’s favourite place to go? To the park.
  23. How old was Mummy when she had you? Umm…maybe… 39 years old?

So there you have it! I guess I tell my kids that I love them enough – but maybe they don’t hear me say it to Hubby? And if I want my kids to spontaneously buy me a packet of Raffaello from time to time, I guess I’m going to need to tell then that it’s my all-time favourite food, aren’t I?!

Have a great day, dear reader!

— KRidwyn

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family anecdotes Random thoughts

Raising kids #2

So I posted yesterday my Number One parenting tip: rewards first. The second however, follows closely behind…

Tip #2: stuff costs money.

We know this. We all know it. You get what you pay for in life. Want a new car? Or a house? A holiday? A meal at a nice restaurant? You can have them all – but you need to pay for them. If you’re in the market for a car, and you like Toyota Landcruisers but only have $10K to spend, it’s far more likely that the car you end up buying looks more like Mr Bean’s than you’d like it too.

Likewise, my kids understand the value of things. They understand… because they can be quick learners when they have the incentive to be!

I mentioned yesterday that my kids earn points (and therefore money) by ticking off chores on the app Choremonster. This gives them money to spend.

It also gives them money to lose, on taxes.

Yes, you read that right. Taxes.

Stuff costs money. Including stuff that kids should be responsible for, themselves.

My kids know that they need to pick up after themselves; put things away where they should go.

They also are aware that, when people move house, for example, they pay someone to help them move.

This is what I have in my house.

Mr 6 can’t be bothered moving his bike from where he left it, back to where it should live? That’s fine. I’ll move it for him, and he’ll pay me for the privilege. Moving tax. Miss7 continually leaves her Wii remote on the lounge? Fine, but if it’s still there when I need to sit down, I’ll need to move it and she’ll pay a moving tax. Miss 10, towel on the floor? Fine again – but it incurs a moving tax if she expects me to do it for her.

It’s brilliant; I love it. The kids know that they need to be responsibile, otherwise they’ll end up paying for the privilege of being lazy. And it’s not a set sum. Wii remotes are generally only 20 cents, but moving a bike can be up to $5 (we have a large property). And it adds up! When Miss7 takes off her school uniform and leaves it all on the floor, then that can be 20c for the left shoe, 20c for the right shoe, 20c per sock, 20c for the shirt, 20c for the shorts – that’s $1.20 just for the uniform! Watch out if she’s left her homework folder, school bag, lunchbox etc on the floor as well!

They only do it once.

And taxes don’t just apply to moving things. I have a ‘lights tax’ (for when they leave their bedroom light on) and also a ‘laundering clean clothes tax’ (this one is mainly for Miss10, I must admit). I’ve told her that if she lets her clean school shirt falls off the hanger and onto the floor of her wardrobe, and she then assumes that because it’s on the floor then it’s dirty, and she puts in the laundry ready to be washed again, then that’s fine. I’m happy to wash her perfectly clean shirt, and she needs to be happy to pay me $3 for the privilege. She’s been more careful since she tried that one!

It also applies to food. If my kids want to leave their sandwich crusts, they can. But they can also help me pay for the loaf of bread that they’re choosing to waste. 5 cents per crust is our going rate. And that way, it’s their choice. They can eat their food, or they can pay to leave it. It’s fair, and it cuts out arguments.

Right now, you’re probably thinking, ‘that’s tough’. Yes, possibly so. But my kids are learning that Mummy won’t always be there for them. They’re learning that stuff costs, and things have value.

So many kids today don’t understand that, I’ve noticed. My kids do.

And the way I see it, they’re going to have to learn it one day! May as well be now.

So anyway, that’s my tip #2.

And here’s hoping that you have a lovely rest-of-the-day, dear reader!

Yours,

KRidwyn

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family anecdotes Random thoughts Technology University studies

Vive la #PLN!

Yesterday I met more of my PLN – hooray!!! I had met @fionawb a couple of weeks ago, and she had graciously invited me to her birthday party – so I cajoled Hubby into meeting new people (he’s spent the last four weeks in a CPA-exam induced cocoon, only emerging on Thursday, and to be honest, prefers the hermit life to the social butterfly one), dragged the kids with us, and drove down to Brisbane.

I must admit, it’s rather strange meeting people in real life that you’ve already gotten to know a little via social media. Even Fi surprised me with her “Shall I introduce people by names? Or with their twitter handles?” question – but I have a feeling that that question is one that gets asked more and more, now that social media is becoming so prevalent throughout all cultures, all societies, even all age groups! But it was *so* good to just fall quite easily into conversation with @rachwray (and of course, have some cuddles with #babywray!) and @jzgarnett – it feels a little like you’re ‘starting’ a friendship kind of half-way in! But it’s great. The ‘ice’ is already broken, so to speak!

So yes, yesterday was a good day. Apart from my three cherubs terrorising #twoboycats and wanting to eat all of Fi’s chocolates, I was immensely happy to have connected IRL with people who inspire me in the twitterverse.

Thanks for a great day, my friends! And thanks SO much Fi for inviting me!