And how’s the alliteration in that title for you 😀
So I wrote a 100 word story last weekend for the flash fiction contest on Janet Reid’s blog (literary agent extraordinaire, QOTKU and now agent-wrangler at New Leaf Literary and Media) with the five prompt words: dog, horse, proud, spirit, and herd.
I must admit, I was pretty happy with my entry.
But nary a mention. Nada. Zip. (Well, being awarded a zip might have been nice. Instead there was not even the sound of a lonely cricket…)
And casting my eye over the story again, I was wondering if perhaps pacing could be the issue. (Assuming, of course, that it’s not the overtly Christian content, the fact that it’s written from Satan’s point of view, or just too obscure…)
I was happy with the ‘Adam naming the animals’ leading into the ‘creation of Eve’ sections – but perhaps that didn’t leave enough space to develop the antagonist’s POV enough.
I emailed it to another writer friend, but – I didn’t know at the time! -he’s moving house. He apologised about not replying; I said please don’t; he has enough on his plate!
I then fell sick a few days back, so was unable to make it to my local writers’ group meeting. I had another member read out my story for me. Her response? “Everyone enjoyed it.” Which is nice, but not particularly detailed. Sigh.
So I’m still left wondering – is it pacing? Is it too Christian? Is it too Satan-ic? Or is it just, simply, too obscure?
I’d love to know what YOU think!
“Cat,” he says. “Horse.”
The angel scribes carefully; smiles. “Last one.”
The man gazes at the creature. “Dog.” The angel scribes, nods; then disappears into the spirit realm.
The Master inclines his head. Ancient eyes close.
The man falls asleep.
Later, he wakes; a woman beside him, clothed in purity. “Eve,” whispers the man, eyes wide, marvelling. “My own.”
I smirk. This’ll be easy.
Later still, she explores the garden, head erect; her desire to please ripe for the plucking.
I slither over; make my move.
Offended, proud, she seeks to best me in a match of wills.
So – do *you* think that pacing may be an issue?
And have a lovely week, dear reader!
CC image courtesy Nicholas Brekhus on Flickr