So I posted last Monday about how happy I was to get back into by morning routine. I was determined to follow it, to regain the momentum I had lost. And the routine went well – for three days.
By the fourth day, I had allowed doubts to creep in. Not about my routine as a whole – I still fully believed it worthwhile – but the reason behind it.
You see, the main reason I get up so early and head to the gym is because it’s something I do for ME. It’s quiet, no-one’s around (meaning no questions or expectations) and in the stillness I can focus on God, read His word, and pray for my loved ones uninterrupted. And get 15 minutes to write! Then home by 6am, pumped and ready to face whatever the day will bring.
But the thought that my relationship with God is just another item I ‘tick off my list’ on a daily basis rattled me. Is that really all my relationship with God had come to? “That’s not a relationship! That’s just routine!” The accusation flummoxed me, and – as I so often do – I tried to counter it in my own strength.
“Of course it’s a relationship, not just an item in my routine,” I thought – and to prove myself right, I let the routine slip and tried to maintain the relationship without the structure, in amidst the myriad of ‘things’ which accost my day on a minute-by-minute basis.
I failed. My relationship with my Creator faded – and I tried still harder, because now it seemed as though the Enemy was correct and really, the routine *was* the only thing holding my relationship with God together… and I failed still more. My week ended up pretty much a write-off.
And yet, the minutes and hours passed and another week has just begun. God is still there. I am also, still here. And I can start over.
With His help, this time! Taking my questions to God, and hearing His perspective on the matter.
– Jesus, after all, got up early to spend time with God.
– *Something* has to be put first every day. Why should it *not* be God?
– It’s not bad to have God as the first person I interact with each day. It might be ‘routine’ but it’s a helpful one!
And that’s the way God designed life to be, anyway. Skills are hard won initially, but eventually become automatic. I’d love it if I automatically turned to God for everything, not just the first moments of my day! Maybe this is a first step, though.
So. Just some thoughts this Monday morning. Here’s praying you may have a wonderful week, dear Reader!
– KRidwyn