So I thought I might try something new – just do some random scribbling every Wednesday. Playing with words. Playing with the feelings that words create. And not worrying if they form sentences, or rhyme, or make a whole lot of sense. Just cos!!! So here goes…
Whoops.
I knew it the instant I’d done it, that I’d overdone it this time. Strained my voice just that *little* too much. I could physically *feel* my throat start its aching. And it’s the type of ache in the throat where you just know. Know exactly what’s coming next. Know because you’ve been there before.
Ache. Soreness. Discomfort. The beginnings of pain.
Loss. The temptation to whisper, knowing that whispering will just make matters worse.
Knowing that it will prolong the recovery time.
Knowing, and feeling helpless.
Powerless.
Useless.
I like to think that I have a large, intense personality, barely contained within my small physical frame. The surprising amount of volume that I can muster, from said physical frame, forms a huge part of this personality. the kind of volume that has been developed with decades of singing, decades of teaching.
My volume, and my ability to use it when needed, gives me confidence. Strength.
The ability to communicate, to have input into the lives of those around me just by opening my mouth, gives me… well… power.
Without it, I feel less.
Inadequate. Stripped.
Defenseless.
Moral of story: STOP!!!!!
Next time, preferably, *before* you get to that ‘whoops’ moment, Ceridwyn!!!