A boat has arrived

So it’s been a few weeks since I’ve been able to enjoy my morning routine – up soon after 4; get to the gym; leave by 5.15 to get to my favourite writing place by 5.45 then home soon after six.

So it was beautiful this morning to reclaim my routine, and – although the first gym workout in a while left me aching more than I’d like – I arrived at my writing place happy with myself and the world, eager to write for the first time in what felt like literally months.

Only to discover: I wasn’t alone. My view of the creek was not what it had been. A yacht had arrived and had moored itself smack bang into the middle of my writing view.

(Yeah, okay. In this photo it looks tiny. But in real life it looked much bigger. For real. And I was Not Happy.)

What an intrusion! A defiant attestation of the proximity of human habitation – when I wanted to see God’s creation and it only!

True, I see the hypocrisy in my annoyance and frustration. How dare I complain when I’ve been busily driving myself here, and happily inserting my own human-ness with all its noise and pollution and disturbance for months now… suddenly to be upset at the presence of another?! Shame on me!

But it still saddened me. Selfish, I know. Silly too. To be upset by the inevitable.

Dumb, even, to be surprised by it. To have not realised that it would happen one day… and seeing the rate of sub-division development close by recently, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.

But saddened anyway. I wonder if that’s how God felt when Adam made an axe and chopped down a tree for the first time ever? I wonder if he sighed and thought, ‘Well, there goes the neighbourhood.’

Or if He saw it as an opportunity for something else. Something different. I don’t know what, yet… but I guess I should remain open to the opportunity for finding out.

Change doesn’t have to be bad, I guess.

So with that thought in mind, we should probably head into this week. Here’s wishing you a great one, dear Reader!

– KRidwyn

Sixty-six percent is a LOT

The school my cherubs attend runs annual camps, from Year Four (9 year olds) onwards. The upper Primary camps occur in Week 7 of Term 1 – which meant that last Thursday night, both Miss10 and Master9 slept away from home.

Having fewer children sleeping under my roof than not, felt WEIRD with a capital everything!

It made me notice just how ‘normal’ having three-cherubs-who-are-with-me-24/7 had become, because two out of three were away and their absence was keenly felt.

And yet, it didn’t seem that long ago that Hubby and I were childless! So how does that work? When we’d blithely bumble along throughout our evening, not wondering ‘what they’re doing’ or ‘if they’re okay’ because there simply wasn’t a ‘they’ to wonder about! A different time, yes – but, just as easily, a path which we could still have been on, had we chosen to remain on it, and not have children.

The choices we make, huh? How different our lives would be!

Because sixty-six percent of my children is an awful lot to be missing.

And I speak from experience here. I hadn’t realised this fact earlier. But definitely something to ponder now! Along with paths, choices, and what this all means for my future decisions…

Anyway, enough rambling. Here’s wishing you a wonderful week, dear Reader!

– KRidwyn

Turn around twice…

The other evening I looked across my dining table at my Miss10 and noticed her elbows were resting as wide apart as my own. It startled me; the revelation that she wasn’t a ‘little kid’ anymore.

I shook my head, and said, “Do you know, it wasn’t that long ago when you [Miss10] were on a booster seat; you [Master9] were in a high chair; and you [Miss VERY MUCH 13, JUDGING BY THE ATTITUDE] were seated on a normal chair, with your chin just past the height of the table.”

The cherubs looked at me quizzically. “What’s a booster seat?” asked Miss10.

I sighed. Those memories, all seemingly so recent in my own mind, I had assumed were all-pervasive in my children’s too, but no. I shook my head again, then answered.

But in the back of my mind, the realisation that they were growing up, far more quickly than I had given them credit for, petrified me. My own Dad has always said, “Turn around twice and they’ll be grown” and I’d laughed and nodded indulgently. But suddenly I understood.

You get busy, life happens, and then suddenly, when you stop and notice, they’re grown and their elbows on the dining table are the same distance apart as your own. And you were so busy ‘doing’ the journey that you didn’t realise that the journey WAS happening! And yes, by ‘you’ I definitely mean ‘me’.

So I’ve decided that, like I tell my students all the time, to ‘wake up to yourself’ – I need to do this. I need to ‘wake up’ and take notice that, while all this life is happening, it REALLY IS HAPPENING and I would do well to pay attention and enjoy it while I have the opportunity!

How about you, dear Reader? Had any startling revelations lately?

And have a great week!

And again…

It’s been two years since I regained access to this blog, and I still remember that OMG feeling clearly, the day I could publish on my own website again.

Well, I had the opposite feeling just the other day. That sickening ‘dread’ that makes your stomach sink because it feels like you’ve swallowed a massive boulder that’s weighing you down, but you have no idea how because your throat’s constricted tighter than… well, let’s not go there… and your brain is spinning with ‘how on Earth did this even happen’ thoughts. Yup, that was me.

Still is, truth be told.

Because I discovered that my ‘Note’ containing all my login details for every website I’ve used for the past three years,



Note, as in on the ‘Notes’ App on my iPhone 6S.

The one that keeps ALL the thoughts which overflow out through my fingers and into a space which I thought was whatever-the-opposite-of-vulnerable is.



And obviously I must have accidentally ‘deleted’ it over a month ago, because it wasn’t in the deleted notes folder either.

I cried. I argued with my phone (not that that helped). I pleaded with God.

But nope. It was gone.


Lesson learned, maybe? Just start using Evernote like I always promised that I would, even though I find its interface extremely user-unfriendly and even though I absolutely HATE the idea of storing my personal thoughts in the cloud.

Oh well.

Better that, that to have lost three YEARS worth of login details, yes?


Here’s hoping your week this week is a good one, dear Reader!

– KRidwyn

On priorities… And distractions :-)

I’d like to think that I am a pretty focused person. That I can concentrate easily, and work quickly and efficiently to get tasks done. I pride myself on being organised, able to complete challenges, and meet deadlines, having put in a maximum amount of effort toward the job at hand.

And I’m sure that compared to some, I am rather organised and focused. To others however, I am aware that I fall far short of the mark.

And I think it comes down to priorities.

You see, although I do have priorities, as I wrote last week that I haven’t been great at planning for them. They have been wishes in my head, goals for me to try to make, without concrete plans to follow to achieve them. And without concrete plans, distractions easily get in the way.

Fear can also breed. Because I am often afraid that I won’t actually achieve what I have sent out to achieve. I’ll be a failure. A failure in my own eyes, and – even worse – in the eyes of others. I guess this concerns me, because I hate the idea that others could laugh at me, or think less of me, because of my lack of significant achievement.

So I keep my goals close to my chest, don’t speak them out, so that I can’t be accountable. That way, if I fail, I only have myself to blame.

Failing in public is far too much pressure for me.

I’m not entirely convinced of the wisdom of this, however. Being accountable to others – like setting myself a Goodreads challenge of 156 books read in 2018, for example – is a motivator in and of itself, I’m thinking. So perhaps I should view fear as simply a tool to be harnessed, a strategem which can assist me in achieving the goal I’ve set myself? Turn the idea around; make it work in my favour?!

And then: distractions. They make life so much more interesting, don’t you think? The shiny new idea that tries to take you away from the focus that you have. That’s so much more fun to follow than gritting your teeth when the work is so dry and repetitive, when it’s drudgery to persist in doing the hard yards and remaining dedicated to the job you have set out to achieve. In my mind, I equate distractions like Frodo trying to get to the Mount of Doom, but stopping off to ride a pink fluffy unicorn because that ring he was carrying just got too heavy and too demanding.

And distractions are easy to blame as well. An out! Yippee!

But I choose today to not let the distractions get to me. To remain focused on the goal I have set myself. To plan it out, as much as I’m able, so that things don’t get too overwhelming, and so I can succeed in what I’m planning to achieve.

How about you, dear Reader? Are you, like me, easily distracted? And is this a problem for you?

And, as always, have a great week yourself, dear Reader!

On resolutions – late ones…

So it’s February. And probably rather too late to be thinking about resolutions for the ‘New Year’… but then again, ‘better late than never’; ‘it’s never too late to make a change to your life’ and ‘while there’s life, there’s hope’ so I’m going to write about resolutions made in February anyway. And besides, if you only ever wait until January 1st to resolve to make changes to your life, that’s LOTS of days per year where you’re deciding to *not* change!

But I digress. I want to write about the quote: “Failing to plan means you’re planning to fail.” Supposedly Benjamin Franklin said that, one of America’s Founding Fathers and probably all-around wise guy. I’d heard it before, and always thought it was pretty cool. I liked the way the second half of the saying reverses the first half, and it still made sense.

But at the end of last year, when I failed so abysmally at both my Goodreads challenge and my reading through the Bible in a year, I started to look at the saying more closely.

I get the first half. That’s pretty simple. The fact that you fail to plan. As in: you forget to plan; you’re too lazy; you’re too busy maybe; or you don’t feel it’s worth while.

I get all that. And, truth be told, I’m in that boat myself quite a bit. I tell myself that ‘it’s because I’m too busy’ and ‘I’ll get to it later’ and ‘that’s okay, I can wing it – I’m good enough to do that.’

But in re-reading Franklin’s quote, it’s the second half which convicts me. I really had to stop and ponder that half, and realise that, for these two challenges at least, that was me last year.

You see, if I chose to ‘not plan’ HOW to meet my goals, I was actually CHOOSING to fail in my attempt towards that goal.

Mind equals blown!

If you know anything about me, you know that I love completing challenges. I hate to fail!

So when the saying states outright that my actions, in not planning, have meant I have actually chosen to fail; that I have intentionally failed, and that whenever I do this (don’t plan) then I am deciding that at a foreseeable time in the future, I will fail a challenge that I have set for myself? That makes me stop, sit up, and pay attention.

Because to me, that’s a ridiculous waste of time! Why even set myself a challenge, if I’m deliberately going to undermine my own efforts? That’s just dumb!

I need to plan my work, if I’m going to be successful.

So that’s one of my two resolutions this year. The other is still a bit too intimate, a bit too precious, for me to share. But this one? The fact I’m determined to do more planning this year? That I want to share with you all today, dear reader. And why? So you can hold me accountable, of course!

How about you, dear reader? Do you have any resolutions for the future?

And have a great week!

– KRidwyn

Small things…

They say that a person should laugh 100 times a day for good mental health. Or is it 100 hugs per day? I can’t remember now, and I don’t want to stop typing and google it, because I don’t know about you but for me, researching is laden with distractions! I start by looking for one piece of information… half an hour later, I then remember that I hadn’t started searching for it yet!

[And see what just happened there? Distracted myself again! Not sure I’m liking what that says about my ability to concentrate…]

But getting back to mental health, I know it’s important to laugh. They have those laughter clinics even, don’t they – made famous through that Robin Williams movie Patch Adams, the doctor who treated his patients with laughter therapy and well as medical knowledge 🙂

I’ve also heard that children laugh 100 times more than adults. It’s understandable I guess, given the responsibilities most adults have. But it’s sad that we’ve gotten away from the heartfelt joy so many of us had as children.

I know I enjoy my day more when I’m laughing. So really, I need to find the little moments each day which make my life joyful. And celebrate them!

Case in point: my car windows.

You see, my car has been dirty for months. Well maybe not quite that long, but it certainly feels that way.

Hubby generally washes it for me, but we’ve both been too pre-occupied recently, I guess.

So while driving over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking, ‘I really should wash my car – at least the front and back windscreens, maybe even the side windows, to make it easier – not to mention safer! – to drive.’

Likewise with the current ‘holiday’ routine, I also haven’t made it to my favourite spot, (where I write every morning,) for probably four weeks or so.

So I made it there this morning. Down the end of my street, where I sit in my car looking out at the view, and reflect on the wonder that is God’s creation, and the incomprehensibility which is God‘s love for me.

But this morning on my arrival, I burst out laughing: the view was still there, but I couldn’t see it for the filth!

It’s small things that amuse small minds, they say. But I’m okay with your labelling me as having a ‘small mind’. I want to be joyful, to laugh at myself and with others, and to enjoy my life.

After all, it’s not just about existing, about the number of things we can accumulate. It’s about enjoying the journey, enjoying the time with each other, and with whatever it is we choose to do with our time each day.

Personally, I believe that God designed me for a purpose. At this moment in time, he has me working as the Head of Middle School. It’s a huge responsibility, creating a culture for the ‘middle years’; potentially shaping the lives of those who attend, both students and staff too.

But I love it, and I try to do the best I can for them, and for God, who placed me there in the first place.

It makes me laugh, to think that I was there 10 years ago, in that exact position in that exact school, and I’m back there again, continuing the work! God smiles at that too, I think.

So, today’s resolution? To enjoy life. To enjoy God and my relationship with Him. To laugh more 🙂

[And perhaps, to edit next week’s blogpost more thoroughly, so it doesn’t get published as a mish-mash of ideas, like this one seems to be. Ha!]

How about you today, dear reader? Will you be laughing along with me today?

And even if you can’t, I wish you a wonderful day today!


Getting older…

My eldest child became a teenager on the weekend. My second eldest had reached double digits 5 days earlier. Hubby had turned 46 the day before that.

Yup. Third week of January. Birthday week.

The difference, this year, was that for the first time ever, Hubby and I have more children in double digits than in single.

That made us feel old.

Then, just two days ago, when Miss12 became Miss13? Surreal doesn’t even begin to describe it.

How can I be a mother of a teenager? Seriously? Am I old enough? Responsible enough? Where’s the training manual for this section of my parenting life?!!

We spent the day together, doing things that would make memories for the two of us. She’s an awesome kid. So gentle, so caring. Love her to bits.

Not entirely appreciating though, how her milestone forces me to attain one as well.

Never mind. It was bound to happen eventually, I guess.

Have a great week, dear Reader!

– KRidwyn

Better late than never

I have a weak left ankle. I’m not entirely sure why, but if I’ve ever hurt an ankle, it’s always been the left one.

Last Wednesday was no exception.

I’d been digging out a sapling in my front yard, and – surprise surprise – it had left a hole when I’d finished.

Silly me decided to fill in the hole ‘later’, after I’d delivered the sapling to the fire pit.

Whoops. Rapidly rethought that plan immediately I’d felt the agony and heard the sickening ‘crunch’ as I fell.

But of course, by then it was too late.

The upshot was: at the ripe old age of 43, I found myself on crutches for the very first time. And boy! Did I ever learn some lessons about the difficulties inherent in not having two working feet!

Everything got problematic. And I realised that for any similarly-hobbling Middle School kids I have, trying to negotiate a three-storey building, carrying books, pencil cases and devices, hats, water bottles and so on – it must be REALLY HARD!!!

So I’ll be changing some things at my school this year, as much as I can, to make it easier.

And I’m kicking myself (not literally; my ankle is still too idiotically painful for that) that it’s taken me until now to realise the problem.

Better late than never though, I guess.

Have a great week, dear Reader!